Reading Female Body Language – Decoding The Messages Behind Her Actions

By Sheryl Eleazar | Last Updated May 10, 2013

Speaking through words is not the only way that a woman may communicate with a man. She could be silently sending out important messages through her different body movements and gestures. To really understand her, men have to learn how to decode the messages of her body language.


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Sheryl Eleazar

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A young blonde woman displaying bodily gesture

Women are often thought of as more talkative than men (worse, naggers!). Yet, communicating with the ladies is not all about listening to their litany of words. There are special instances like attraction and dating that a woman prefers to relay her messages to a man through her unspoken body language.

Up to 80% of what we communicate is nonverbal… 1  

Indeed, even if a woman you are meeting, socializing with or dating is not speaking any word, it does not mean that she is not trying to tell you something. Pay attention to her gestures, her looks, her mouth twitches, facial expressions and bodily movement to discover the messages she likes you to understand.  Effective communication with a lady does not require listening and speaking alone. Instead, you need to be proficient in decoding messages behind her body language.

Her Eye Expressions

The eyes really are a window to the soul according to scientists. 2  

Her mouth could be saying no, but her eyes are saying yes. Look at a girl and you may know what she really means.  You can safely think that a woman is flirting with you if she sends you three indirect glances. The second glance is for verifying that she indeed liked what she saw in you. The third glance is for telling you that she wants to talk to you.

She may look at you for three seconds; take this as a sign she is not interested. If she gazes at you for over four seconds, you have successfully drawn her attention. However, if she looks around or to her side, she is not interested anymore.

Her Lip Nibbling

There is nothing like the Lower Lip Nibble to subconsciously give a man an injection of pure of testosterone. 3  

This is one of the sought-after signals by men from women. This can be a deliberate action from her, but could also be just a casual, meaningless gesture. Therefore, before you take it as a good sign, you need to assess further.  She is probably interested if she does this while listening or thinking so your attention will be transfixed to her lips. Observe more and wait to see is she licks her lips.  If she does, then your hunch is confirmed.  Lip licking is not just a subconscious gesture to make you notice her lips. Remember that a woman’s mouth also becomes dry when she is feeling excited and aroused.

Her Hair Signals

Since ages, long, flowing hair has been a sign of femininity, sexuality, and child bearing ability. As such, tossing or flicking hair is a common and favorite flirting gesture for women. 4  

A woman is drawing your attention to her if she tosses her hair from her shoulders and face to expose her bare skin.  Unconsciously twirling hair strand on her finger and/or slowly running fingers through her hair are also signs of interest.  Apparently, if she jerkily touches her hair, she could be feeling impatient or embarrassed. Do not feel hopeless, though. You can fix things by not being over dominating as you speak to her.

Her Hand/Finger Motions

The hand is one of the most visible areas of the body and also one of the most expressive. 5  

Her fingers could likewise be telling you something.  Signs of her interest in you can also be viewed from the way she moves her hands and fingers.  She may caress her lips, collarbones and neck to let you know she fancies you. If she is drawn to you, her heart will beat faster and make her feel nervous. Thus, she may fiddle or lightly play with her jewelries to ease her tension.  To get your attention, the girl will also use her hands and fingers to play with nearby objects like a wine glass or water cup. Be careful, however, in giving meanings to this gesture.  If hand movements are controlled and slow, it may mean she is attracted. If she taps the glass and purses her lips, it could mean she is bored with your company and is anxious to get away from you.

Misunderstood Body Language

There was this old Japanese man who does not know how to speak English. His cousins invited him to go to Hawaii and bought him a first-class ticket to ensure all his needs will be taken care of.

During the flight, he felt thirsty. Not knowing how to say it in English, he gestured to the flight attendant by curving his fingers as if holding a water glass and moving it to his mouth to mimic drinking action.

The flight attendant thought he liked to drink wine so she brought him wine. He repeated his signaling to the woman and she brought him a different type of wine.  Eventually, all types of wine available on the plane were presented to him and every beautiful attendant have even lined up in front of him to assist him but of course, it wasn’t wine he liked to drink so he shook his head.

One of the flight attendants asked, ‘Sir, what exactly do you want? These are all the wines we have here. Suddenly, the girls started screaming.

The old Japanese guy felt the need to pee. So as not to confuse them further, he decided to just point to his pants’ zipper!

Her Body Movements

Look for mirroring gestures from the girl you are talking to. Mirroring can signify the rapport between you, a sign that you two are getting along quite well.  It happens when the person subtly copies the other person’s body language.  Examples are leaning towards one another, crossing or uncrossing legs and arm movements.  If she moves farther back away from you, take this as a sign she wants to escape from you or reject you.

Her Knee/Feet Positions

Disclaimer: If you decide to try or test out these tips, do so at your own risk. The author assumes no responsibility of whatever consequences you may acquire because of these tips. However, in the event that any of these tips do work in your favor, the author wouldn’t mind if you left a comment about it below.

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